Mary Mayer

Moms Eulogy- (Mary Mayer)

September 23, 2024

It’s not what you do with your life- it’s how you chose to live your life-that defines you. Mom chose a beautiful, fulfilling, legacy-leaving life that should be an inspiration to us all. Again, it is how you chose to live your life that defines you. I am honored to share with you our memories of Mom’s life, the legacy she leaves us with the life she lived and extend a tribute on how she touched the lives of family and friends.

My name is David Mayer. The oldest son of Ray and Mary. My brother Alan and I would like to thank you all, here and online, for joining us to celebrate the wonderful life of our mother Mary.

Mom was born in Regina Saskatchewan, October 14, 1931. She was the youngest of 6 children, having 1 sister and 4 brothers. They farmed south of Regina. It was a tough life living through the years of the Great Depression. I can remember hearing stories of my grandfather having to farm with a team of horses. Christmas gifts for the children usually comprised of an orange, a few pieces of candy, and a pair of knitted socks. By today’s standards one could say they and many others of those times lived in poverty. Hard work, even for children, and a very frugal lifestyle was a necessity to survive. This life lesson was passed onto us and is an important part of Mom’s legacy l have tried to pass onto my children and grandchildren.

At the age of 12, Mom and the rest of the family, except their father, relocated to Picture Butte, Alberta. Again, they faced a lot of tough times. The children all helped to support the family by hoeing sugar beets after school and in the summer.

Mom finished school in Taber Alberta and then shortly there- after began pursuing her passion to become a nurse. She attended nursing training school in Calgary and completed her certification there. It was during this time that she built life-long friendships with fellow nursing students Fergie, Joan, and Ann Marie. This foursome remained close their entire lives. I remember many trips with our family reconnecting with their families. Mom put a lot of commitment into building and maintaining friendships, a lifetime worth. Again, another valuable life lesson she taught us. Only Joan Bafaro remains of this foursome today.

Mom’s career in nursing brought her to Medicine Hat. She worked throughout her career in the old original hospital on the Flats as well as both the new and expanded hospital on River Heights.

She met dad in Medicine Hat, and they were married in 1953. I came along in 1954 and Alan in 1958. We carved out a home and busy family life on Cresent Heights, living in their new home from 1959 to 1972. Again, many new friends were made, and the kids were towed along. The Anderson’s, the Heringer’s, the Rollefstad’s, the McKenna’s to name a few, were all part of their weekly social circle. Mom’s strong and committed friendships with Ivy, Margie, Penny and Joan lasted a lifetime.

It is worth noting that throughout the time Mom was raising us she unselfishly put her nursing career on hold and took on the new task of taxiing Alan and l to hockey practices and games, baseball games, boy scouts, etc. Her vehicle of choice, the classic 1959 Nash Metropolitan, 3 speed standard on the column, canary yellow, convertible. The convertible was very much convertible, with numerous hockey stick punctures in the ragtop and rear window. Nothing, a little duct tape could not fix. Mom’s character of putting others ahead of herself was exemplified by putting her family before her career. Another life lesson for us.

Mom was a very good cook and baker. Wendy and I were talking on the way here to see if we could remember any cooking failures and we could not come up with one. I do have a baking story l can share though. Mom would bake a lot of cookies, but we did not get to see them, SO SHE THOUGHT. She always wanted to save them for when company arrived, so she froze them. This was how l developed a taste for frozen cookies. I just snuck down to the basement deep freeze after school and helped myself. My strategy worked until the unexpected company arrived and the cookie inventory was seriously depleted.

The years passed, Alan and I grew up, and it was now time for mom and dad to realize their retirement dream to move to Vancouver Island. They chose Chemainus. They spent 20 good years there. Making new friends in a new place was easy for them. It was made easier with Debbie and Cordell and Jim and Ivy being close. Again, mom built many new friendships with neighbors, the church, and volunteering in the community.

In respect to family, l do need to mention how much effort and love mom displayed with staying connected to all her nieces and nephews. I know many of you are watching online today and l would like to say to you how much she loved and cared for you all.

After 20 years in Chemainus, mom and dad moved back to Medicine Hat for health reasons, the so called “golden years”. Friendships were quickly rekindled with Jack and Carol, Bob and Joan, Margie, Ivy, Penny, and others. Again, the longevity and commitment of relationships and the strength and effort mom put into them her entire life is a good lesson for us all and a legacy she has left with her family.

Mom had a good life, almost 93 years full. Her and dad passed onto us the value of a good work ethic, the commitment of building and supporting relationships, and the importance and wise use of the gifts and resources we have been blessed with and the sharing of those gifts with those less fortunate than us.

Thank you again for joining Alan and I in this tribute to our mother today.

I will conclude by acknowledging the exceptional care mom was shown by the nurses and staff at St. Joseph’s Home. Thank you. Also, to my dear sister-in-law, Shann Snedden, for being there for mom, by holding her hand and comforting her through the final minutes of her life.

So, mom, we are grateful for all your love and support over the years. Yes, the life you choose to live has defined you- thank you for leaving this legacy to your family.

David Mayer