Firefighter raising awareness of first responder PTSD after suicide attempt

Training to become a firefighter at the age of 16, Riggs has helped countless people over his career with postings in High Level, Alberta and Langford, British Columbia.

But over the years, Riggs said he’s seen some truly haunting images that began when he was in his teens.

“When I was 19, my first fatal call we went to was a car fire where a guy burned himself alive inside,” said Riggs. “And then, it actually turned out to be someone that I went to high school with. So, that was quite the ordeal for sure.”

Those incidents began to pile up over his 12-year career, as Riggs buried his feelings of sadness and anger over the years.

That was until October 1, when his PTSD eventually boiled over and took him on a drive throughout rural Cypress County.

“I just felt kind of different I guess,” he said. “I kind of drove around all day just feeling depressed and feeling a lot of anxiety, and just feeling like I didn’t want to deal with it anymore.”

Just after 5:30 pm, Riggs pulled his Jeep onto the side of Range Road 63 and began swallowing sleeping pills.

Eventually taking them by the handful, the 30-year-old consumed all 150 sleeping pills he had with him as he said he just wanted a way to ease his longstanding pain.

“I didn’t exactly want to die, but it just seemed like it was the only option in your head to make the pain stop,” he said.

After swallowing the last of his pills, Riggs sat in silence waiting for the end while reflecting on what he was leaving behind.

“You start thinking about how it’s going to affect your family, your friends, your co-workers, I guess it was probably the most intense 10 minutes of my entire life,” he said.

It was in those moments that Riggs decided he needed to make a call, so with tears running down his face, he pulled out his cellphone and called 911 dispatch.

According to Riggs, the dispatcher stayed on the line with him until paramedics arrived on scene, who transported him to hospital.

Still conscious during his ride in the ambulance, Riggs said he received some comforting words by EMS crews trying to save his life.

“They obviously shared some personal stuff with me and just told me they’ve been where I am before, to not worry, and things do get better and they were there for me,” he said.

After spending a stint in the intensive care unit, Riggs was released from hospital within the week looking to make sense of the ordeal he had been through.

Surviving his own suicide attempt, he’s now sharing his story in the hopes of helping any other first responders who are suffering alone.

“There’s others like me that are out there that are suffering in silence, that are afraid to come forward and speak just because of the stigma surrounding PTSD among first responders,” he said. “So, I think for me the biggest thing is just letting others know it’s okay to talk and it’s okay to get help.”

According to the Tema Conter Memorial Trust, 58 first responders in Canada committed suicide in 2017, with another 22 taking their own lives so far this year.

The Canadian Journal of Psychiatry also published a study last year, that showed 44.5 percent of 5,813 first responders surveyed showed symptoms consistent with mental disorders such as PTSD.

Local registered psychologist Tobi Ceh often deals with PTSD and first responders and said many share a feeling of guilt in seeking help.

“Taking care of yourself isn’t weak and they would never expect someone else to continue giving without help,” said Ceh. “So, why are we expecting that they do it themselves.”

Riggs added it’s something he’s seen firsthand, as the perception is that first responders should be the ones helping those in need, not the other way around.

“We feel like we’re not the ones that need help right, we’re supposed to be the ones that are helping everybody else,” he said. “So, I just think it’s hard sometimes for guys to admit that they actually do need help and they do need to talk to someone.”

A number of psychologists in Medicine Hat are already in the process of setting up a PTSD support group in January, which Ceh said would be the first of its kind locally.

She said people like Riggs are changing the conversation surrounding not just issues like PTSD, but mental wellness as a whole.

“I think people like that are needed to change the culture,” she said. “We need thought leaders who are willing to be vulnerable and say, ‘I am an everyday hero and I have feelings, and that’s okay.’”

After being released from hospital, Riggs decided to take a month off work and is now starting to see a therapist regularly.

Now back in uniform at the Box Springs station, Riggs knows his battle with mental illness is far from over, but is just glad to still be in the fight.

“Definitely feeling better, but I think it’s a long road and I don’t think it’s something that ever leaves you,” he said. “But, you kind of just learn how to manage with it and go on with life.”

Riggs has also raised close to $1,000 as part of his Movember campaign, with that money going towards work in prostate cancer, testicular cancer, mental health, and suicide prevention.

by Scott Roblin

Firefighter raising awareness of first responder PTSD after suicide attempt

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